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I got a couple of emails today. Very interesting things to think about.

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Some of those things that make you go h-m-m-m-m-m-m!

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

19. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ

(Passing only requires 4 correct answers)

Answers are below.


1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) >From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?


All done? Check your answers below!

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador

3) >From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert

8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.

What do you mean you failed?
Pass this on to some other brilliant friends . . .
 

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LOL!!!!!!!!!! Qwertz...that was the funnist thing ive read today! Thanks for the laugh LOL. Oh yea i got 3 of the questions right above...
 

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More things to ponder.

If aspirin are always o be take two, why not double the size of one pill?

Why do people pay to go to the tops of tall buildings to look at landmarks from far away when they can see them up close for free?

Why are they called apartments when they are close together?

Why are they called buildings when they are already built?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, why are there locks on the door?

If homosexuals are non-reproductive, then why are there so many of them?

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

If they squeeze olives to make olive oil, where do they get baby oil from?

If you throw a cat out the window, is it called kitty litter?

Why are there braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

Since asteroids are huge space rocks and hemmoroids are a** rocks, why not switch the name?

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?
 

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Some other useless cerebral drivel.....

"Why is the alphabet in that order?...Is it because of that damn song?"...Steven Wright

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why are there 6 hotdogs in a package and buns in packs of 8?

Why do we have to pay for freeways?

Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your 2 cents worth in?

How does one PAY attention?

<_<
 

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Aren't these things all reposts?
 

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Originally posted by My Car Has Peeling Paint@Mar 8 2004, 11:24 PM
If homosexuals are non-reproductive, then why are there so many of them?
That's what I'd like to know.
 

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Although they may be gay, all human males are created with the knowledge that they MUST "be fruitful and multiply"!! Unfortuneatly, some think that they really MUST be FRUITY !!!! While the rest of us know we must multiply!!! Then you have the ones that take it litteral and are fruity AND multiply, <_< !








Disclaimer: This segment is in no way meant to be harmful or degrading to ANYONE! also, the comments made here do not necessarilly reflect the feelings or attitudes by any other member of this club. It is strictly meant as a joke, so please lets all be lighthearted enough to percieve it as one.




Or I'll call my cousin Guido.
 

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Yea and if I remember correctly..."inside the loop" is where they hang out.

If you aren't from Houston, you probably won't understand, so don't read anything into it, thank you.
 

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Originally posted by rudedog@Mar 10 2004, 08:13 PM
Although they may be gay, all human males are created with the knowledge that they MUST "be fruitful and multiply"!! Unfortuneatly, some think that they really MUST be FRUITY !!!! While the rest of us know we must multiply!!! Then you have the ones that take it litteral and are fruity AND multiply, <_< !








Disclaimer: This segment is in no way meant to be harmful or degrading to ANYONE! also, the comments made here do not necessarilly reflect the feelings or attitudes by any other member of this club. It is strictly meant as a joke, so please lets all be lighthearted enough to percieve it as one.




Or I'll call my cousin Guido.
 

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Originally posted by Troper8@Mar 10 2004, 08:39 PM
Yea and if I remember correctly..."inside the loop" is where they hang out.

If you aren't from Houston, you probably won't understand, so don't read anything into it, thank you.


Good thing I live in Town & Country. I'm outside BOTH loops!
.......... wait a second........that's probably why I don't get half the jokes people tell me! :doh:
 

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I live just outside the loop also. But I still manage to run into & have to deal with alot of fruitloops!!!! (not the cereal)!!



sidenote: poo only works about a half mile from where I live, and taurussetypes only lives a few miles from where I work, and we've never been able to meet each other, now thats sad!!!!
 
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