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Exalted Grand Poobah
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You're all forgetting the star of the '80s, the Chevrolet Celebrity!


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I always single out the Vega for its myriad engine problems - worn-out main journals, camshaft journals, warped cylinder heads, cracked connecting rods, countless oil leaks and more - all usually with 45,000 miles of driving off the showroom floor.

IF one drove off of the showroom floor - more than one hapless new owner found out their new baby was DOA, COD.

Even a Trabi ran for ten or fifteen miles before the cylinder rings wore out on that miserable two-cycle terror...the Yugo remained in pristine condition, as its mechanical design forbade driving it for more than four or five miles. The Vega only needed three quarts of oil a day to smoke its way around town for the three years' purgatory its new owner was sentenced to, until he/she paid off the car loan. It set records for how much of its showroom value it lost, leaving the showroom - viz., virtually all of it. One was in the hole for at least 34 of the standard 36-month-payment loan and therefore unable to sell it to anyone other than a GM dealer as trade-bait....

...on a CELEBRITY!!

:rolleyes2:
 

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Has It Been That Long?
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Discussion Starter #42
The Yugo did have the Transmission By Bic.

Here's a reason the Celebrity is such a classic example of crap.

 

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Exalted Grand Poobah
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Administrator
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I always single out the Vega for its myriad engine problems - worn-out main journals, camshaft journals, warped cylinder heads, cracked connecting rods, countless oil leaks and more - all usually with 45,000 miles of driving off the showroom floor.

IF one drove off of the showroom floor - more than one hapless new owner found out their new baby was DOA, COD.

Even a Trabi ran for ten or fifteen miles before the cylinder rings wore out on that miserable two-cycle terror...the Yugo remained in pristine condition, as its mechanical design forbade driving it for more than four or five miles. The Vega only needed three quarts of oil a day to smoke its way around town for the three years' purgatory its new owner was sentenced to, until he/she paid off the car loan. It set records for how much of its showroom value it lost, leaving the showroom - viz., virtually all of it. One was in the hole for at least 34 of the standard 36-month-payment loan and therefore unable to sell it to anyone other than a GM dealer as trade-bait....

...on a CELEBRITY!!

:rolleyes2:
I am pretty sure Chevy driver's lifetime crap indebtedness plan went:
Vega, Monza (not to be confused with Coirvair Monza), Citation, Celebrity...
...bankruptcy, recovery, Ford, contentment :p
 

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Exalted Grand Poobah
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Chrysler Expresso!

OK, yeah. No. Really, who really makes that thing? That's no Chrysler. Looks like a Smart car on acid.

WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE...:eek:
 

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Dude there's one of these in my basement. I'll snap a pic later. Old lady drives it.

Speaking of Chrysler....4 speed trans in a 2014 model year car? Wow...


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TCCA Facebook Admin
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I'm thinking you don't like your 200 rental car. :p
 

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Discussion Starter #50
Dude there's one of these in my basement. I'll snap a pic later. Old lady drives it.

Speaking of Chrysler....4 speed trans in a 2014 model year car? Wow...


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Buick had a 4-speed in the Lucerne through the entire life of the car. That includes the 2011 model. And this was supposed to be a luxury car. At least your 200 is meant to be a cheap pile of crap.
 

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^If you apply that logic (that less gears is better) then Sam needs a Montego AWD CVT!!!!!!!!!! :lol2:
 

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It is the Old Fart 300 Guy memorial thread. We will have none of this CVT stuff. The unacceptability of anything variable is what spawned this thread as well as Metamucil and Ensure.
Now brush your teeth and go to bed like a good respectful boy

 

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Exalted Grand Poobah
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Dude there's one of these in my basement. I'll snap a pic later. Old lady drives it.
Vaguely reminds me of a 1975 Pacer. AMC was ahead of their time...
 

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Well then the Lucerne would be called the Taurus and we would think of the Lucerne as a wonderful car and the Taurus a lifeless pile of dog do-do.

I understand cars designed in the mid 2000's that had 4 speeds up until maybe 2012 but seriously, any car built 2013+ with a 4 speed is a waste. What's worst about the 200 is that it was a new power train when they designed it.... So they designed a 2010 model year car with a 4 speed. That's what's sad.

The Lucerne was designed for the 2006 model year. In my opinion that is about the last year for a new design that has a 4 speed is acceptable. It was likely all figured out in 2004 when 5 speeds were starting to emerge and we didn't really see 6 speeds often but 4 speeds were still common. Now of course the 2005 ford 500 had a 6 speed...in 2005...

Well screw it the Lucerne is a joke but not nearly as much of a joke as the Chrysler 200 is.

The 200 with the 2.4L and 4 speed is rated at 22mpg city 31mpg highway. The 3.6l 6 speed option for the 200 is rated at 19mpg city and 29mpg highway. Now why would anyone want the 4 cylinder? It's loud, slow, and really isn't that economical.


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Discussion Starter #58
Funnily enough, a lot of proposed Taurus names appeared on other cars. Aerostar, Integra, Orion, Lumina, Probe...


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Spend my 02¢ wisely...
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I understand cars designed in the mid 2000's that had 4 speeds up until maybe 2012 but seriously, any car built 2013+ with a 4 speed is a waste. What's worst about the 200 is that it was a new power train when they designed it.... So they designed a 2010 model year car with a 4 speed. That's what's sad.

The Lucerne was designed for the 2006 model year. In my opinion that is about the last year for a new design that has a 4 speed is acceptable. It was likely all figured out in 2004 when 5 speeds were starting to emerge and we didn't really see 6 speeds often but 4 speeds were still common. Now of course the 2005 ford 500 had a 6 speed...in 2005...
Federal Corporate Average Fuel Economy laws changing heavily starting in the 2012 model year are why you're seeing so many 5, 6, 7 and even 8 speed automatics now. The auto makers have to average 35.5 MPG across their fleet by model year 2016. That's a big jump from the previous 25, especially since it now includes light trucks and a tougher measurement criteria.

I work for a firm that provides power-train engineering services to several OEMs, including the Big 3. The OEMs have been in panic mode since the law was changed in '09. Ford was in a better position than GM or Chrysler when it happened, but even they had to scramble. Coming out of their worst recession in modern history, they suddenly had to invest a massive amount into R&D before they could even get their feet back under them. Trust me, if the OEMs had it their way we'd still consider a 4-speed automatic a luxury item. Building a cheap, light, reliable 5 or 6-speed trans-axle is not an easy task.
 

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Has It Been That Long?
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Discussion Starter #60
Okay, so I think I'm the first one to actually post a Lucerne I saw in the wild here.



Owner was old. Like 60 years or older easily. As you can tell, she parked like she had a Ferrari or something and took up multiple spots. She also either left the headlights on or left the car running.
 
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