Taurus Car Club of America : Ford Taurus Forum banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
301 - 320 of 353 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,525 Posts
Thats awesome! Wanna give me that $100?
:makeadeal:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,381 Posts
tell ya what i thoroughly enjoyed reading the adventures of zorin. but i think i might be adding my own book to the series. ive got somewhat of an offer to drive for a local pizza place in the evenings. im not sure if im gonna do it but the pay seems well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
397 Posts
Wow. Just fukken wow.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
328 Posts
my neighbors brother ordered today i was sitting out on my porch talking to him about life (mom died fri.) any way, driver pull on to our dead end street, flies by a kid playing in the road hops out of his s-10 and drops the order. then he cops an attitude when the neighbors bro. tips a buck and change. kinda felt for him, but in a way i do have issues for driving like that on my street.

any way he stomps back to his truck and attempts todo a peal out but succeeds in bogging it down.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
982 Posts
And tonight!!!!

Some little punk-bitch asspipe tried to rob me. Actually three of them. All high school punks, dressed in black, and could be mistaken for Steven Seagal wannabe-wannabes.

So, it's a nice night, yes? EATC reported 67 degrees outside, the Taurus was looking sharp due to an impromptu repair session at Rudedog's Palace of Used Taurus Parts, and Mr M.V. Powah's house of sqeaky clean body panels. Yesterday, my car lost it's saxophone shaped snorkus, and gained a new outer tie rod end to replace one that was sqeaking loudly enough to make dogs howl, and Mark actually, to everyone's amazement, got most of the damn tree sap off the hood.

Nevertheless.....I go out to Country Meadows, not a terrible neighborhood, off of Zion Road. Amusingly enough, there's a highschool right at the front of the neighborhood, presumably where the little shits go to learn such atrocious acts of random stupidity.

I go to the house, and I notice a white G2 SHO with a bunch of kids around it. Nothing big, I do my thing. I get back in the car, and back out of the driveway, and pull to a stop at the stop sign. I'm completing my paperwork at the stop sign, and this kid runs up to the window. I notice he has a blade. I'm not very thrilled.

"PIZZAS! CASH! CAR!"

"You want what, kid?"

"GET THE **** OUT OF THE CAR, AND LEAVE THE FUCKING MONEY ON THE OTHER SEAT!"

"All right, all right......I'm just going to reach over for the door handle, nice and......EASY!"

I grabbed him by the collar, and floored the Taurus harder than I have ever floored it in my life. As I cut left, the Taurus burned rubber to the degree that I could smell the pungeant odor of frying Continentals. The kid's ( I say kid, he was probably 19 or 20) feet went right out from under him, and he dropped the knife. He squealed like a little bitch when the Duratec hit 4000 rpm, and the car really started gaining speed.

"STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR! IT WAS A JOKE BETWEEN US GUYS, JUST STOP THE CAR!!!"

"**** YOU, PUNK! YOU PULLED UP TOUGH WITH A BLADE, NOW YOU'LL PAY FOR IT! YOU JACKED WITH THE WRONG PIZZA GUY!"

I dragged him for a good three blocks at 50 or so, then I slowed down to about 20 and let his ass go. I know he lived, because I watched him roll and get back up and walk back the other way.

Betcha that he'll think twice about jacking a pizza guy. The great thing about Texas is that when someone tries to rob you, you can do what you see fit. Like he assaulted me with a deadly weapon, the knife. I can do the same, except I get to use my car.

Don't try to jack Zorin......it's not a winning proposition.

Zorin

P.S. He'd have been pissed anyway....I had a check for $15, no pizza, and some singles. Dumbass.
[/b]
A-fucking-mazing, would my 3.0L vulcan be able to pull **** off like that, I'm lookin to score a parts runnin job at the local auto auction, you know how people can be for free auto parts and **** like that.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,800 Posts
Being dragged by anything with an engine will scare the living crap out of just about anybody :lol2:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
276 Posts
Well, you all asked for confirmation, and Zorin has it. Third day on the job, and it happened.

I delivered the pie to either an orgy, or a gang-bang, couldn't really tell. But a decently cute blonde chick answered the door, wearing absolutely nuttin'. You should have heard the moaning coming from the living room....between that, and the strobe lights, all that was missing was that cheese-ball '70's porn music.

I swear, I am not making this up.

Naked Blonde: "Hi! We got hungry!"

Zorin: Actually speechless for a split second....well, more like taking in the scenery.

NB: "What is the bill?"

Zorin: "Airing that thang out? Uhhhh, $21.64."

NB: "Cool....I'd invite you in, but we're all naked."

Zorin: "Thoughtful..."

NB: "Well, thanks! Have a great night!"

Zorin: "You too......ride 'em cowboy!"

I walk back to the shitbox, barely able to keep from cracking up out loud. To make it even better, she gave a four dollar tip.

Well, folks, unfortunately, I have another day off. I'll be going back on Wednesday, so, judging by the positive response to this, what I'm gonna do is update with the daily oddball thing, if you guys want. Tell ya what, some weird **** always seems to happen to me. The funny thing is, I'm having fun just sharing the oddball **** that goes down.

Zorin
[/b]
I can't believe you walked away from that, that stuff is a blast!!! :ph34r:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
245 Posts
Dear God, I can't believe i've been away long enough to miss this thread.

Having been a delivery driver (in a SHO, no less) for several years, I've got plenty of stories to tell, if ya'll'll have em, since I don't wanna hijack this thread.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
838 Posts
Dear God, I can't believe i've been away long enough to miss this thread.

Having been a delivery driver (in a SHO, no less) for several years, I've got plenty of stories to tell, if ya'll'll have em, since I don't wanna hijack this thread.
[/b]
Make your own thread, and tell away. It's a great way to pass the time!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
982 Posts
Dear God, I can't believe i've been away long enough to miss this thread.

Having been a delivery driver (in a SHO, no less) for several years, I've got plenty of stories to tell, if ya'll'll have em, since I don't wanna hijack this thread.
[/b]
Do it, do it, do it. in a new thread of course
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
Zorin, you're the man.

I've carried bags in a small town grocery, herded carts at Target, waited tables at several restaurants from IHOP to high-dollar hotels, valeted cars, delivered pizza, worked in the Civic factory, done courier deliveries, drove taxicabs and tow trucks, merchandised, and repossessed people's cars. I have yet to have such an enjoyable time as you.

Papa John's in Cleburne is hiring. And I'm looking at a white '99 SE with minor body damage and thinking this would be a lot of fun. But the other tow truck company in town (the one I didn't get fired from) is ALSO hiring and I've heard their drivers get away with all sorts of ****.

It's a toss-up. We'll see who calls me in first. I can always use the Steel Turtle (79 Delta 88) for deliveries until I find a suitable beater. I am the King of Cheap Ass Cars, after all.

Hmmm...Yugo for sale in Austin...GVX no less...hmmmm...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
834 Posts
I delivered for a few different places...mom and pop shops...pizza hut...etc....but one day I was delivering to this house...and as I got out of the car I could hear a bunch of girls hooting and hollering, but not a single guys voice....so I'm thinking cool chick party...well I get to the door, ring the bell, and as they're running to the door, they start yelling "Is it the stripper or the pizza man"....so the door flys open, and much to my dismay its a bunch thirty something ladies who weren't what I was hoping for...welll 2 out of the 6 were decent...but the other 4 were definetly married with kids...it showed in their faces...so anyhow...they then ask me again...."are you the stripper or the pizza man"...I said "did you hire a stripper to dress like a pizza man?"....and they replied, "no...we let him decide what he would show up in"...so I smirk and say "I'll be who ever is getting the better tip?" :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,381 Posts
QUOTE (fonicsmonkey @ Mar 3 2009, 09:30 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=705145
I delivered for a few different places...mom and pop shops...pizza hut...etc....but one day I was delivering to this house...and as I got out of the car I could hear a bunch of girls hooting and hollering, but not a single guys voice....so I'm thinking cool chick party...well I get to the door, ring the bell, and as they're running to the door, they start yelling "Is it the stripper or the pizza man"....so the door flys open, and much to my dismay its a bunch thirty something ladies who weren't what I was hoping for...welll 2 out of the 6 were decent...but the other 4 were definetly married with kids...it showed in their faces...so anyhow...they then ask me again...."are you the stripper or the pizza man"...I said "did you hire a stripper to dress like a pizza man?"....and they replied, "no...we let him decide what he would show up in"...so I smirk and say "I'll be who ever is getting the better tip?" :D[/b]

:lol2: LMAO
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
328 Posts
Discussion Starter #317
My, god, man.

Three and a half years later, this thread still moves along. You know, if I didn't have some other irons in the fire, i would see what sort of shenanigans I could get into here.

You guys rock.

Zorin
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9 Posts
Worth reading every page! Makes me want to post up (rent a cop) stories, but I can't be eloquent and 'work' at the same time. Saw a couple other people talking about guarding, maybe when I do have time I'll put up a few in a new thread, although working for an unarmed place even the exciting stories aren't all that impressive.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11 Posts
QUOTE (sfontain @ Oct 8 2005, 04:40 PM) index.php?act=findpost&pid=270226
Originally posted by Damon@Oct 8 2005, 02:21 PM
I did pizza delivery once for a short time. I must say, college students are the worst tippers. Moms come in a close second. Delivery should come with a built in surcharge. Its only fair.

-DC
It often does. I don't know whether the driver sees that, though.
[/b]
my son who was 12 at the time orderd a pizza i was not home at the time but the delivery guy helped him to a hefty tip and ripped my son off for five bucks when i found out i complained and the manager phoned backed stated his driver did not take that amount for a tip it was the old story my word against his result we never did business with that pizza firm and it is a well known firm for the taking of that bit of money they lost a customer. i dont have home delivery i go and pick it up cut the middleman and save the tip i use to tip two dollars just a bit over the 10%
 
301 - 320 of 353 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
About this Discussion
352 Replies
114 Participants
Blkfordtaurusman
Taurus Car Club of America : Ford Taurus Forum
A forum community dedicated to the Ford Taurus and SHO models, Mercury Sable and Lincoln MKS. Join the discussions on EcoBoost, aftermarket performance, and more!
Full Forum Listing
Top