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Premium Member
15,922 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I got this email yesterday and I thought it was hilarious! Looks like I gotta make me a reservation at the Holiday Inn when I retire in like 60 years!


There's no nursing home in my future when I get old and feeble, I'm checking into the Holiday Inn! The average cost for a nursing home is at least $188 per day. I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. With a combined long-term-stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.

2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, Holiday Inn provides a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

They treat you like a customer, not a patient. Five bucks worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you're not stuck in one place
forever you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? It has Holiday Inns, too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem! They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you're OK. If not, they'll call the undertaker or an ambulance.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They'll always be glad to visit you, and probably check in for a few days for a mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool.

So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin.

Just forward all my e-mail to:
[email protected]

I think this is a DARNED GOOD IDEA!! What do you think? Heck, if nothing else, I figure my kids will love me for it!

Premium Member
17,415 Posts
:funnypost: Someone has wayyyy to much time on their hands, but he does raise a point...
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