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i need some help ASAP...

Myth


In Rolling Oaks, a small town in Oregon lived Joseph Bertuchi and his wife Lena. Joseph was a well-built man about six feet tall with short brown hair, in his late thirties. Lena on was only a little over five feet tall with flowing blonde hair that went well with her sculpted body. Their community, Rolling Oaks at the time, was a pleasant place to live. There were kind people all around. Everyone respected the Bertuchis. They lived in a big house with a very grand front yard. They had an estate easily worth over six million dollars when they inherited his parents business. He worked as the president for his parent’s brokering firm, Bertuchi Brokering. They had no other family members to speak of so they treated their servants and maids as such. Joe and Lena tried and tried again to have kids, but even after their many exhausted efforts were not able to. Lena prayed constantly to the god Octavius to grant her the wish of a son. Finally one day her wish was granted and she became pregnant. She was the most beautiful pregnant woman around town. She had a glowing presence around her. Nine months later a marvelous boy named Alexander was born into the world. He was the best looking baby at the hospital.

Alex was a bright boy and was growing pretty fast. He learned to use the potty and walk by time he was one year old. At just three years old he had said his first word, pudding. Octavius watched out carefully for Alexander to make sure he didn’t get hurt. Joseph and Lena were very proud of him. Everyone in town wished they had a child like little Alex. Everything was going great. He had turned six and was just starting school. Alexander, with the help of Octavius, became a model student. He had all A’s in his classes and was a top athlete.

Joseph and Lena took a trip one cold winter day a few towns away to look for a new house. On the way back, they were involved in a twenty-car pileup on the freeway. A semi truck lost control on a turn and started a domino effect. Joseph couldn’t stop the car in time and crashed into a cargo van in front of them. They were not wearing their seatbelts and were killed. Alexander, just six years old was totally without any family. His whole life turned upside down. He became depressed and did not want to go to school or do anything. The servants didn’t know what to do. Joe and Lena never made out a will, and there was no family to send him to.

The servants, despite how well they were treated, created an evil plan to send Alexander away to an orphanage and split all the family’s belongings amongst each other. Leaving only thirty thousand dollars in a bank account for Alex to have upon his 18th birthday. Alexander was sent to an orphanage in a town called Bannick that is about thirteen hundred miles away from Rolling Oaks. They made up some false documents and two of the servants pretended to be his parents. They told everyone that they sent Alex to his far off relatives and sold off the business. All the servants then moved apart and forgot about Alex. He stayed at the orphanage in Bannick until the age of eleven when the Millers adopted him.

The Millers were very nice. They were in their early thirties and already had 2 younger children, 5 and 9. Jacob and Martha Miller had a small three-bedroom house where Alex and the two other children had to share a room. They were pretty happy but Alex always wondered about his real parents. He was very young when they died and he did not remember much, if anything, about them. Kids at school kept picking on him about being adopted, that his parents didn’t love him. Alex got into a big fistfight at school with five boys going against him. They were all football players, the biggest kids on the team. Alex wasn’t a very big kid, only six feet tall and about one hundred ninety pounds. Even thought he worked out, Alex was no match for the five boys. He thought he was done for until Octavius once again visited him, this time in the form of a friend. Alex, with his help won the fight, and then he helped Alex realize what he needs to do in life.

He began to cheer up and got good grades. He graduated on the top of his class with honors. Alex, now eighteen years old, an adult, decided to start his journey to finding out who his real self is. He started out by going back to the orphanage and searching through the old files. He didn’t find much information there, except the state where he was from. Alex packed his bags, said his good-byes to the Millers and his friends, and boarded a train to his home state. When he arrived, he didn’t know where to go, but when he was in the airport, Octavius again came to the rescue and told him about his money and which bank to go to. Alexander did this and some of his money got a car and an apartment. He decided to use the rest to fund his search for his parents and to put himself through college. He studied business and marketing, then graduated with a PHD. He applied at many places for a job until he discovered a place called Bertuchi Brokering. He knew that that name sounded familiar but didn’t know from where.

While doing more searches for his past, Alexander finally discovered why the company name sounded so familiar. He found out that the business was owned by this family, or was owned by his family. He then decided to hire a lawyer to help him find even more information about his family and what exactly happened. Alex found out about the car accident and even uncovered who his parent’s servants were. Instead of attacking them violently like he did his previous enemies, he decided to do a more harmful deed. Octavius gave him a disguise as an older gentleman in his thirties and he went around and tried to get a reunion amongst the former servants. He knew the best way to get to them would be through their greed. One thing that most people cant resist is free money.

Alexander decided to gather them all up in one place, in a warehouse near the airport. He sat them all down in one room, and explained to them a little contest they are about to have. The winner of this contest receives five million tax free dollars. They all decide to go for it. Alex then proceeded to have them sign wavers stating he will not be held accountable for their actions. Some of them were reluctant to sign, but they did anyway. The contest was basically a last man standing wins match. He opened up some boxes and exposed many weapons, which they could all use to harm one another. His plan started to go as he wanted. They all attacked each other without a moments delay. Alex didn’t want to watch the bloody mess, only to know they are all suffering for what they did to him and his parent’s fortune.



what do u guys think? how should i end this... i need help ASAP
 

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Discussion Starter #2
no1 wants to help?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
this is for my myth/epic class in Highschool

we are supposed to have the heroic pattern and the seasonal rituals represented in the story.

im goin for the "teaching a lesson ending"
 

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i havent read it yet(no time) but a good story can always be ended by the main character being run over by a runaway cow(or duck, or chip truck...ect...) :lol2:
 

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thanks for the good suggestions, its not past 1am and i dont feel like changing anything else... what i have is that he lives and those bad people die. he prospers and get rich and gives money to his foster family, i know, not the most exciting ending, but this is due tomorrow and i also have to finish a critque for it... damm teachers...

mr.cow, my friend railey also suggested that, if i would have listened to u guys it might have been better than how it currently ends. o well, thanks much tho
 

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i decided to go back and edit the story with ur suggestions, thanks, hope it made it better.
 
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